i look at all my blog posts, and i realise i'm obsessive. i really must gear up my social life again, pack my free time with dinner dates and parties and chilling out with a bunch of buddies. plaster on a plastic smile, try to conjure up jokes to make people laugh, be somewhere i don't really wanna be, keep up appearances in front of friends, all just to keep me busy. then i won't have the luxury of pondering where the fuck my life is going, and then i can stray my thoughts from you.

times have changed, and you have changed. you're no longer the you i knew and loved, you're someone else. i know i must move with the times, and accept that the you from three years ago is but part of a beautiful memory, and i should just upgrade my version of you and get the fuck on with life already.

yet here i am, still obsessing, still living in the past. really, i'm a loser.

i'm feeling too atrabilious to blog in profound english, so i extend my sincerest apologies to frank and andrew, i must let you down today.

scribbled
10:11 PM